Finding a healthy middle ground between having unrealistically high, impossible-to-meet standards and not being selective enough is important when looking for the right partner for you. Although these extremes may produce different outcomes, both are likely to create dating barriers. In fact, being too picky can stymie your search for a partner just as much as being too picky. If your standards aren’t high enough, you may have more relationships, but the quality of those relationships (including satisfaction and longevity) as well as your mental health will suffer. It may be gratifying to be loved and wanted, but if you settle for just anyone who shows interest in you, your standards may not be high enough. If you approach dating with realism and establish rules that will lead to a fulfilling and Healthy relationship, your love life will go more smoothly.
Building Healthy Relationship
Every love relationship has its ups and downs and requires effort, dedication, and a readiness to change with your spouse. But there are actions you can take to build a healthy relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been dating or how new your relationship is. You may find strategies to stay connected, find contentment, and experience enduring happiness—even if you’ve had a history of unsuccessful relationships or have previously struggled to reignite the passion in your present relationship.
What Makes A Relationship Healthy
Every relationship is distinct, and there are a variety of reasons why people assemble. Sharing a common vision for what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go is one of the characteristics that make a relationship healthy. And the only way to determine that is to have a lengthy, honest conversation with your partner. The majority of wholesome relationships share a few traits with one another, though. Understanding these fundamental concepts can help you maintain a meaningful, rewarding, and exciting relationship regardless of the problems or shared goals you two may be working on.
Focus on these things to keep your relationship healthy:
- Keep a deep emotional connection with one another.
- Willing to disagree in a civil manner.
- Maintain your hobbies and relationships outside of work.
- Be honest and transparent when communicating.
Our happiness, health, and stress levels have all been found to rise with healthy relationships. According to studies, those who have healthy relationships are happier and less stressed. Despite the fact that every relationship is unique, there are some fundamental techniques to maintain good relationships. All relationships—friendships, professional, familial, and romantic—can benefit from this advice.
Getting in love VS sticking with someone
Most individuals believe that falling in love just happens. It takes dedication and effort to stay in love—or maintain that “falling in love” experience. But given the benefits, it’s definitely worth the work. Through good and bad times, a strong, stable love relationship can be a constant source of happiness and support in your life, enhancing all facets of your well-being. You can create a lasting relationship that may even last a lifetime if you take the necessary efforts now to preserve or rekindle your initial experience of falling in love. Many couples only work on their relationship when there are certain, inevitable issues to resolve. Once the issues are handled, people frequently return to their employment, families, or other interests. But for love to develop, romantic partnerships need constant care and dedication. A romantic dating connection will need your attention and effort as long as it is still important to you. And by recognizing and resolving a minor issue in your relationship now, you may frequently save it from developing into a bigger issue later.
Guidelines for ensuring proper standards of healthy relationships
We all want to be in healthy relationships, but the majority of us haven’t really been taught what it entails. Here are my top suggestions for how to build a good, healthy relationship from the perspective of a therapist with more than ten years of experience treating couples. Being proactive and open to communication is crucial.
Determine Your Needs and Wants in a Relationship and a Partner
Knowing your own limitations wants, and preferences will help you better judge whether you and another individual will get along. Consider your standards and the things you are willing to tolerate or reject in a partner. When deciding what traits your mate should possess, be thorough. Aiming high while remaining grounded and keeping in mind that we are all flawed becomes important at this point. Trustworthiness, honesty, sincerity, kindness, consistent follow through (do their words and actions match? ), and respect are a few good qualities to look for in a spouse.
Consider your valuable time to get engaged
As you get to know each other during early dating, keep in mind what you need from the other person in terms of time, attention, affection, communication, commitment, and morals. Also keep in mind that relationships take time to develop, so be practical and patient. Realistic needs might be met by someone who can take constructive criticism, is physically and emotionally secure to be around, is emotionally accessible, and is able to communicate clearly. Focus on your wish list for someone’s character and how you’d like to feel and be treated instead of more superficial traits like height requirements. After gaining awareness of your needs and values, proceed by excluding partners who act in a way that is at odds with what you are seeking.
Identify Unwanted Behavior
Don’t rationalize unwholesome actions like impolite, combative, or domineering behavior. Take warning signs seriously. Although it can be difficult to tell someone’s personality after a few dates, being unreliable, unpredictable, and inconsistent in behavior could be symptoms of deeper emotional instability. If you frequently choose possible mates who seem ideal on paper but have negative traits, your criteria may be too low. Listen to your friends and family if they have reasonable reservations about the kinds of relationships you choose. Try to better understand what is motivating you to select negative relationships without passing judgment. Why do you choose partners that are abusive to you?
Understand the elements of a healthy relationship
Start by respecting yourself and having a clear grasp of relationships in order to establish a suitable bar. Infatuation and chemistry may be mistaken for a strong connection due to a lack of knowledge, especially if the past has been tainted by toxic relationships or negative experiences from childhood. Every relationship goes through many phases, adjustments, and difficulties. The objective is not to avoid conflict. What important is managing disagreements, dealing with conflict in a productive way, compromising, and successfully communicating? Complete conflict eradication is not conceivable. It’s okay that certain conflicts cannot be resolved.
Get to know your companion well.
Consider the true nature of your partner and the things that thrill them both physically and emotionally. Instead of tuning in to what genuinely resonates with people, we can become preoccupied with what we believe they want. Keep in mind that something doesn’t have to make sense to you if it’s significant to your partner. You simply have to act.
Establish a weekly ritual for communication.
It can be brief or extensive, but it always starts with discussing what went well and poorly during the previous week and what might be done differently the following week. Additionally, take advantage of this chance to discuss your future plans, set up a date night, and agree on what you want your relationship to look like over the next few days, weeks, and months. Unmet demands and resentment can grow without a planned meeting to take the temperature.
Consider different ways to spend your time together.
Get out of the “dinner and a movie” rut and see how some novelty may actually revitalize your relationship. Don’t want to spend a lot of money? When you search for “cheap date ideas” online, you’ll be astounded by the abundance of choices. Lacking funds for a sitter? Consider exchanging babysitting duties with friends who have children. They will probably be delighted to take your children because they will be able to benefit when they leave their children at your home because it is free.
Take “fight breaks” as necessary.
Remember to address disputes thoughtfully and with a lot of kindness toward your partner and yourself when they unavoidably arise. During a discussion regarding a disagreement, if you notice the tension starting to rise, you can take a pause so that calmer heads can prevail. The key to this strategy is that in order to accomplish closure, you must choose a precise time to revisit the topic (for example, in 10 minutes, at 2 p.m. on Tuesday, etc.).
Try to comprehend rather than agree.
Simple in theory, challenging in practice. When we’re committed in getting our partner to recognize we were right or when we’re determined to change their mind, conversations easily devolve into disputes. Instead of waiting for your partner to agree, choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to grasp their viewpoint. From this vantage point, we have a stimulating conversation and avoid an outburst or persistent annoyance.
Applying the aforementioned techniques will help you establish healthy criteria for selecting love partners and ensure that your dating decisions are grounded in truth. You will find the ideal mate if you value your worth, take warning signs seriously, and pay attention to the little things in satisfying long-term relationships. Owning up to your romantic life is crucial. Be mindful to actively choose rather than merely waiting to be selected. However, if you don’t feel deserving, you’ll have to make compromises or, worse yet, put up with violence and mistreatment in your relationships. Put your well-being first and look after yourself. It’s acceptable for you to demand respect from others. This is about your health and loving yourself, not being picky.